1. |
Crusty J.
02:49
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You prowl around the school
You look for one that drool
You promise candy bars
If they just get in your car
Yea, I know you, I know just what you'll say
And I know I'm no one to be mislaid
I have no interest in this foreplay
Yea, I know that they call you Crusty J
You insist I have a taste
You don't mention that it's laced
You flash me your billfold
Than you say that I'm too old
Yea, I know you, I know just what you'll say
And I know I'm no one to be mislaid
I know that you're wanted in four states
Yea, I know that they call you Crusty J
So spread the word around, spread the word around
That even if he frowns, even if he frowns
That J is not allowed, J is not allowed
Within a hundred and fifty feet of any playground
Yea, I know you, I know just what you'll say
And I know I'm no one to be mislaid
I finally get to use this mace
Yea, I know that they call you Crusty J
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2. |
Found Keeping Toes
03:09
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Working with the stiffs all day, it takes so long to embalm
Always toeing the line between the grotesque and the calm
I would protect, and misdirect, never neglect
My boss elect, always direct, showed me respect
Till' they found me keeping toes
Once they notified the state I was promptly hauled off
Every word I'd incriminate, they'd just silently scoff
I would select, my next subject, only perfect
I'd disinfect, and then bisect, and then collect
Till' they found me keeping toes
They would suggest, I did molest, those laid to rest
I just said yes, to the requests, of frozen guests
Less than impressed, colleagues attest, keep me repressed
As they digest, only my best, pigs in blankets
Till' they found me keeping toes
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3. |
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They told her not to eat the dragonfly, drowned out by her chewing heir orders were defied
They'd scold her for snacking on father's tie, no parental methods could get her to comply
On untold amounts of crayons she dined, with only one color in which she was inclined
And through the years they tried to sway her, begging not to chew
Hoping that she could be deterred from that tasty hue
But she knew what to do
When she came upon an appetizing shade of blue
Yes she knew what to do
When she came upon an appetizing shade of blue
Always doubtful of her state of mind, secretly her family wished that she would go blind
At every chance her craving was denied, only causing the problem to be magnified
And through the years they tried to sway her, begging not to chew
Hoping that she could be deterred from that tasty hue
But she knew what to do
When she came upon an appetizing shade of blue
Yes she knew what to do
When she came upon an appetizing shade of blue
Decades passed, on blue cheese she survived, then one night a boy came to her and told his lies
Enchanted, she stared at him like a prize. clutching to her fork she dove for his, icy eyes
And she knew what to do
When she came upon an appetizing shade of blue
Yes she knew what to do
When she came upon an appetizing shade of blue
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4. |
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All worked up and looking for some revenge
Feel like a shell of my former self, downright unhinged
You better save your crying now, you lying wench
I'm here to tell you right now and how you're in a pinch
Cus' within your home I've unleashed thirty crustaceans
I admit I'm not proud of it, but do consider causations
Yes, within your home I've unleashed thirty crustaceans
Just remember that hermit crabs are omnivores
Feel the wrath of my many decapods
I made the one with the purple shell head of the squad
Yes this is reasonable, no it's not odd
You better stop your laughing now, you filthy fraud
Cus' within your home I've unleashed thirty crustaceans
I admit I'm not proud of it, it was a fit of frustration
Yes, within your home I've unleashed thirty crustaceans
Just be thankful that was all the hermit crabs I could afford
And even though many a crab have fell, they still crawl on
And even though you may think all is well, they still crawl on
And even though you've covered up their smell, they still crawl on
And even as they're tolling your death knell, they still crawl on
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5. |
Misunderstood
03:11
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I'm all excited cus' I was invited to a gender reveal party. As soon the door opened I flung my coat open and showed with what god had graced me
I never meant to be a menace of come of as so lewd, it's true. Either way I gotta say I only came for the food
Yea, well it's all just a misunderstanding, baby, and I promise I'm not losing my mind. I said it's all just a misunderstanding, baby, and I promise that it grows more in time
I'm feeling blighted cus' I just got sighted spitting at the bowling alley. I flooded the holes of my ball as I bowled so I could slip in my fingies
I never meant to be a menace or come off as so rude, it's true. Either way I'll never say now what I did to the shoes
Yea, well it's all just a misunderstanding, baby, and I promise I'm not losing my mind. I said it's all just a misunderstanding, baby, and I promise that I'll wash out the slime
I've been indicted, I guess I incited a little too much controversy. The only thing dumber than my foul jokes is how they're taken so seriously
I never meant to be a menace or to start such a feud, it's true. Either way nothing I say can change the fact you're a prude
Yea, well it's all just a misunderstanding, baby, and I promise I'm not losing my mind. I said it's all just a misunderstanding, baby and I promise that it isn't a crime
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6. |
God Hates Your Cock
03:05
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I'm going out of my head, what that preacher said is coming true
You know I prayed and I plead, then I asked my mom what to do
With disappointed eyes, she said you're poor eyesight and the hairs on your palms are just bad genetics, not cus' god hates your cock
I'm going out of my head, what that preacher said wasn't true
Then when I told all my friends, they said that my mom told them too
With lazy, crossed eyes, she said you're poor eyesight and the hairs on your palms are just bad genetics, not cus' god hates your cock
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7. |
Throwaway
02:10
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Always hear complaints that my teeth are just not clean
But I've been brushing them every week since I was nineteen
I've got to come up with something
I've got to come up with something to say, yea
The truth is that this song is a throwaway
The good news is that you can be cool and have high self-esteem
the bad news is that's only true in your wettest of dream
I've got to come up with something
I've got to come up with something today, yea
The truth is that this song is a throwaway
This line was meant to be something obscene
But right now I'd rather be found in a ravine
I've got to come up with something
I've got to come up with something not cliché
The truth is that this song is a throwaway
I've got to come up with something
I've got to come up with something to say, yea
The time you've spent on this song has been thrown away
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8. |
Halftone Memories
02:58
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Schoolyard bully kicks me to the ground, says my head looks like a jug
Claims my hair is colored doo doo brown, and that it's probably full of bugs
I'll get my dad to beat you up, closed palm
He hits real hard, you can ask my mom
That's called assault
Grandma tells us there's a cold front, pretty rare when in the South
I say, what do you know old cunt?
I promptly get soap in my mouth
I can taste the grime from all their finger nails
Dad adds it's the same brand soap he used in jail
His tail got nailed
Why am I always seen as half wit?
Only child but still not the favorite
I'll just try to keep wreaking havoc
I won't quit till' they get drinking habits
Maybe I'll do as told
Maybe I'm really slow
Maybe I'm getting old
I don't wanna think about it
Maybe mom's on the dole
Maybe dad's on parole
Grandma's a centerfold
I don't wanna think about it
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9. |
Condition Zulu
05:26
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It's getting harder every day
Hard to hold her memory
As time passes, her voice fades
But her words still speak to me
I just wish I could hear her say
Say one more thing to me
She helped shape who I am today
A hack artist wannabe
I'm afraid it's true
Even you fade too
Condition zulu
In showing love, I was remiss
Never got to bid farewell
But if there's one thing I don't miss
It would have to be her smell
I don't know if there is heaven
Who's to say and who's to tell?
But if we get to meet again
It''l surely be in hell
I'm afraid it's true
Even you fade too
Condition zulu
It's getting harder every day
Hard to hold her memory
As time passes, her voice fades
But her words still speak to me
I just wish I could hear her say
Say one more thing to me
But I filmed over the family tapes
With hardcore pornography
I'm afraid it's true
Even you fade too
Condition zulu
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Mysterious Stains Jacksonville, Florida
Just a guy making music to slip in the shower to.
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