1. |
Crusty J.
02:40
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You prowl around the school.
You like the ones that drool.
You promise candy bars.
If they just get in your car.
Yea, I know you, I know just what you’ll say.
And I know I’m no one to be mislaid.
I have no interest in this foreplay.
Yea, I know that they call you Crusty J.
You insist I have a taste.
You don’t mention that it’s laced.
You flash me your billfold.
Then you say that I’m too old.
Yea, I know you, I know just what you’ll say.
And I know I’m no one to be mislaid.
I know that you’re wanted in four states.
Yea, I know that they call you Crusty J.
So spread the words around, spread the word around.
That even if he frowns, even if he frowns.
That J is not allowed, J is not allowed.
Within a hundred and fifty feet of any playground!
Yea, I know you, I know just what you’ll say.
And I know I’m no one to be mislaid.
I finally get to use this mace.
Yea, I know that they call you Crusty J.
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2. |
La Di Da
01:31
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You say you’ve never eaten meat raw.
You say you can only eat though a straw.
You say you can’t chew cus’ of lockjaw.
You say you can walk a straight line!
You say you’ve got a master’s degree.
You say I need more vitamin C.
You say there’s never blood when you pee.
You say you can stand on one leg!
I guess you’re really not to blame.
Considering the things at stake.
It’s no surprise you act this way.
Your whole state shares the same last name!
You say you were sober during Mardi Gras.
You say you’ve never broken the law.
You say she’s just your cousin in law.
You say you know your alphabet!
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3. |
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I only like the part where they sing the name of the song.
It doesn’t matter if the words are wrong.
Just bob your head and sing along.
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4. |
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Hey!
I don’t want you hanging around my daughter.
Cus’ I know what you came for!
Hey!
I don’t want you hanging around my wife.
Cus’ I can see it in your eyes.
I feel your sickly fingers dipping in my pie.
I feel your vulgar tongue is crossing all my lines.
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5. |
Not Had Again
02:12
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Step in line for the holy bordello.
Demonize everything that makes you grow.
Step in line, don’t accost the status quo.
Fertilize so the lies have embryos.
Kneel down you subordinate!
Confess all your unpaid debts!
You’ll burn, you devil’s advocate!
Swept beneath the rug,
Only silence from above!
Not to be had again!
Those who see the light,
Host a crippling parasite!
Not to be had again!
Get burned if we say you’ve misbehaved.
Amnesty holds a lofty interest rate.
Get burned as you donate blood and wage.
All hail the world’s largest syndicate.
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6. |
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Every night my lips need cortisone.
Ears are ringing as much as the phone.
Every motion is reduced to blurs.
And I always seem to slur my slurs.
I’m real hairy but my head is bald.
So I had some black spray paint installed.
My skin’s texture is like garlic bread.
When I sneeze my nose shoots pencil.
Never thought I needed protection.
Now I shoot in thirteen directions.
When she went down I promptly unsheathed.
When she came up, she was missing teeth.
Feel asleep despite the orange glow.
When I woke up it had grown a toe.
It turned green then it started to spread.
And my size can just be left unsaid…
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7. |
Epidermis
00:58
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I’d like to take a little hike without you having to dislike my epidermis.
I’d like to get home safely too without the fear of bleeding through my epidermis.
But not I’m shitting out a brick cus’ all these dicks just want to prick my epidermis.
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8. |
Aroma Coma
02:06
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Girl!
You know you’ve got to do something about that odor.
Girl!
You know it isn’t any better when I’m sober.
Maybe try the toilet roll.
Maybe try the toilet bowl.
Maybe mom need birth control.
Oh my soul!
My nose!
Girl!
You know you’ve got to do something about that odor.
Girl!
I’ll call the CDC on you if you get closer.
Maybe you just need some air.
Maybe you just need a prayer.
Maybe we need an affair.
Oh my soul!
My nose!
Girl!
You know you’ve got to do something about that odor.
Girl!
You know I bet that your pungency is transpolar.
Maybe you need some perfume.
Maybe you need to be entombed.
Maybe you need to tie your tubes.
Oh my soul!
My nose!
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9. |
I Tried
01:54
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I tried to forget her face you know,
I tried then I remembered!
I tried to fix her face but then,
I tried now she’s dismembered!
What in the hell am I to do?
It seems she’s started to mildew.
I tried to disguise the body I,
Made her a different gender!
I tried to erase the evidence,
Now I have a broken blender!
What in the hell am I to do?
Maybe she’d taste good in some stew.
I was tried and they showed no mercy,
I ain’t no first offender!
I was tried and found guilty,
Thanks to public defenders!
What in the hell am I to do?
Guess I’m the new bitch in the coop.
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10. |
Alpha Cold Men
01:06
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Squattin’ and strainin’ in a bathroom stall.
A path of arrows drawn up on the walls.
When I reached the end, I saw a message was scrawled.
Three little words and four syllables.
It said…
I dialed up the number that it said to call.
Then I heard a ringing in the next-door stall.
No time to waste I head for the hall.
A voice called out to me, and as I recall,
It said…
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11. |
Down and Out
02:12
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Your pinky nail is painted red but your, feeling blue.
You search for snow in summer heat yea winter’s, overdue.
You’re down and out and running out of tissues.
You set up shop down on the street and on the, avenue.
And all your clients know you by name at least they, think they do.
You’re down and out and looking for a rendezvous.
You never seem to harvest much for your, field of view.
You’ve kicked the habit more that the dog a case of, déjà vu.
You’re down and out and feeling like you’ve withdrew.
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12. |
Shake It Like A Newborn
01:06
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Shake It like a newborn.
Shake like your on meds.
You gotta shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it until it bends!
Shake it like a newborn.
Shake like your inbred.
You gotta shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it until it bends!
Shake It like a newborn.
Shake like your on meds.
Shake it like a newborn.
Shake like your inbred.
You gotta shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it no control.
You gotta shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it rock and roll.
You gotta shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it until it bends!
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13. |
Rendezvous With Revenue
02:04
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I’ve got cotton balls, stuffed inside my mouth.
And I’ve no idea, what this song is about.
I’ll try to imitate, Mr. Darby Crash.
Now I’m realizing, that this song is trash.
Even though you can’t tell what I’m singing.
Keep listening till your ears are ringing.
If you’re looking for some insight, I’m only singing for the copyright.
I can’t wait till I’m, out of things to say.
This whole punk nonsense, is overly passé.
Until that time comes, I’ll just play with myself.
And when it finally does, you can go to hell.
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14. |
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I, I really tried hard this year.
I, I think I’ve been good.
I, I hope Santa brings warmth and cheer.
I, I hope he understood.
I open the box.
Then all hope is lost.
It’s plastic and green.
But not what I need.
Well, now my family’s gonna freeze, cu’s Santa didn’t bring us any coal!
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Mysterious Stains Jacksonville, Florida
Just a guy making music to slip in the shower to.
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